We've been a family of five for five weeks now, and so far, so good. Overall, the baby is super sweet, and the boys love him so much. There's just one small problem . . . I can't call him by his name to save my life. Every single time I try, I call him Reeves instead of Brooks. And it's not just that I've known Reeves longer. Sometimes, I don't think we gave Brooks the right name at all. It doesn't seem to roll off my tongue the way Jackson and Reeves did when they were born.
There are some people who don't name their baby in advance like Alex and I did. Instead, they wait to meet the baby in order to see what name fits this new little person. Sometimes they even wait a few days before making a decision. I always thought that was some sort of crazy hippie nonsense, but now I totally get it. What if Brooks isn't really a Brooks? What if he's more of a Slade? Or a Sebastian? Or a Bob? What if he lives his whole life with the wrong name?
I shouldn't really be surprised that I'm questioning Brooks' name. After all, he comes from a long line of name confusion.
For starters, my mom doesn't even have a middle name. My grandmother had sisters named Sue and Annie Lee, so she named my mom Suzanne after both of them. In my grandmother's mind, my mom had two names already, so giving her a middle name would have been like giving her a third name. I get where my grandmother was coming from, but it did make things a little difficult for my mom. Not only did she grow up without a middle name, but even worse, she grew up without a monogram. That's a hard row to hoe for a true Southern belle. Bless her heart.
Alex has had middle name troubles of his own. He was born Alexander Cullen, and throughout his childhood, he went by Cullen. Unfortunately, that was before a family of vampires took the world by storm, so a lot of people had trouble pronouncing Cullen. He was often called Colon or Colin or something else close but not quite right. So, he took matters into his own hands. When he changed schools in ninth grade, he decided it was the perfect time to start fresh as Alex. New district, new friends, new name. Makes perfect sense, right? The only trouble is that his family still calls him Cullen, and this has sometimes lead to an identity crisis of sorts. When we sent his granddad an invitation to our engagement party, he threw it away because he didn't know anybody named Alex. Even at our wedding, some guests weren't exactly sure who was getting married. We had a seated dinner, and one table was made up of some of my friends and some of Alex's family. They spent the majority of the night locked in a heated debate over who was calling the groom the correct name.
I've had my own cases of mistaken identity as well. Throughout my life, I've noticed that Katherine, Elizabeth, and Jennifer seem to be interchangeable names, and I've been addressed as both on more than one occasion. My problem in those situations is not that I really mind being called a different name. My real problem is that I usually feel so awkward correcting the offender that I just don't say anything. It's like in the episode of Friends where Chandler doesn't tell his co-worker that his name isn't Toby. (Want to guess what I've been doing on maternity leave?)
One year, a new English teacher came to Mid-Carolina, and Katrina thought my name was Elizabeth for almost a whole nine weeks. This probably had a lot to do with the fact that, for some weird reason, I never told her that it wasn't. Finally, our department chair, whose name actually was Elizabeth, although she went by Betsy, had to ask Katrina who was this Elizabeth person she kept talking about. Needless to say, when they solved the mystery that Elizabeth and I were one in the same, Katrina was at my door in seconds asking why in the world I didn't tell her my name is Katherine. In reality, explaining why I had let the ruse go on so long was way more awkward than if I had just corrected her in the first place.
Katrina still calls me Elizabeth, but now it's just for fun. I've just added it to my long list of nicknames. A list that includes Kat, Katty, KP, Kath, Smith, Smitty, Mrs. Kobe, Katrina, and Katerina Davidovich. Sometimes I get confused signing emails because I can't remember who calls me what.
Based on past experience, it's obvious our family has some name issues. And over the past few weeks, I've spent our late night feedings worrying that I've made a mistake with Brooks' name too. Then the other night, it dawned on me . . . There's one person who will always know my name. God knows my name, just like He knows all the hairs on my head. He will never mispronounce it. He will never misspell it. And thankfully, He will never, ever try to shorten it to Kathy.
What a relief that I don't need worry about who I am or what Brooks' name is. I may struggle with it and end up having to call him Number Three, but God won't. Even with all of the millions of people in the world, He will never confuse you or me or Brooks with anybody else. No matter what, we can always take comfort knowing we're on a first-name basis with Him.
