5 for 5: Lessons from Fixer Upper


Last week was the series finale of my favorite show, Fixer Upper, and I have to admit, after five years, I feel a little lost without my weekly dose of Chip and Jo. The show will always hold a special place in my heart because I started watching reruns of Season 1 when I was on maternity leave with Reeves. In fact, I watched so much Fixer Upper and Property Brothers, one time I accidentally referred to Jackson and Reeves as Drew and Jonathan. I really do know my boys' names, I promise. I'm blaming that one on lack of sleep.

For Alex and me, Fixer Upper has been our weekly date night for the past few years. No kids, no phones, just us enjoying some down time together.

I've learned a few things about myself while watching the show--mainly that my dream of owning my very own cow will never die and no matter how much I'd love to have a greenhouse full of beautiful flowers, I can kill a cactus. I've also learned a few life important lessons as well.

Different Strokes Work for Different Folks

I think we can all agree that Jo definitely has her own signature style. While she knows what she likes, she makes a conscious effort to incorporate the clients' style into the design, even if it means figuring out how to blend Moroccan with Scandinavian.

I would love for Jo to come redecorate my house; however, I don't always agree 100% with her taste. Take, for example, the weird frosted glass she keeps putting in pantry doors this season. So strange. Or the floor to ceiling bathroom shower tile. I'm sorry, I just can't get behind that trend. I know the tile is unique and it's meant to give the bathroom a spa-like feel, but the thought of cleaning all of that grout exhausts me. Give me a 1980s stall insert any day.

Ultimately, everybody has different tastes and different styles, and that's okay. Just because someone's style doesn't match our own doesn't mean he or she needs to be "fixed." After all, there's a reason why Baskin Robbins offers 31 flavors.

Work Is As Fun As You Make It

This lesson comes more from Chip and Shorty than it does from Chip and Jo. I have no doubt that flipping houses isn't always as fun and glamorous as HGTV edits it to be. I would imagine most days are sweaty and stinky and downright hard. But in the midst of all of the sawdust and shingles, Chip and Shorty find ways to spice it up. Whether it's seeing who can knock down a wall faster or who can do more pull-ups from the rafters, those two are always laughing.

I have been teaching for 17 years. Have I loved every single day of it? No way! Some days I'm exhausted, frustrated, and ready to quit. However, I have always been lucky enough to work with people who make the job fun. From rolling the athletic director's office at Mid-Carolina to dressing up for spirit days to celebrating Pi Day with multiple pies, my colleagues and I have always found ways to keep things exciting.

I know work can be a grind, and sometimes all we can do is fake it til we make it. Life is full of choices, and it's up to us to decide if we're going to make our work environment negative or positive. When it comes right down to it, we probably spend most of our lives at our jobs, so shouldn't we do what we can to infuse a little fun?

Life Doesn't Always Go According to Plan

If you've watched Fixer Upper for any amount of time, you know that during every demo day, Chip and Jo always find something they didn't expect. It could be a snag, like finding out the wall they thought could come down is actually load-bearing, so they have to put in a beam. Or it could be a jackpot, like finding shiplap hidden behind the dry wall. It seems like no matter how much they plan in advance, there is always a demo day surprise that sends them back to the drawing board.

Life is a lot like renovating a house.  You make plans, things are going well, and then . . . WHAM! . . . a sickness, a lost job, or some other obstacle hits you like a sledgehammer, causing your plans to crumble. You will have to do some work to get back on track, and the work may involve a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but the good news is, it is possible to rebuild bigger and better than before. You might have to peel back a few layers of nasty old wallpaper to get to your version of shiplap, but it's there as long as you're willing to work for it.

For me, the key to bouncing back from a setback is having a firm foundation of supportive family and friends, which leads me to the last two lessons I've learned from the show.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

One reason Fixer Upper is so popular is because viewers love getting a glimpse of Chip and Jo's relationship. In a world full of baby mama drama reality TV, their down-to-earth partnership is a breath of fresh air. They play off of each other and make each other stronger both on the job and at home.

Most days, I like to pretend that I keep the house running all by myself. In my mind, I'm a one-woman show, cooking, cleaning, driving carpool, scheduling appointments . . . single-handedly keeping everybody alive and happy. However, this winter Alex had to travel a lot for work, and while he was gone, I had a major awakening: I need Alex. I couldn't reach the burned out light bulbs in the kitchen, so they went unchanged. And I'm not as fun at bath time as Daddy, so we skipped it more times than we probably should have. The boys may have been dirty, but I couldn't tell because we were living in the dark! And don't even get me started on the debacle that was my attempt at ironing the boys' church clothes. Let's just say I'm better at using an iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich than I am at using it to get out wrinkles. The bottom line is I realized I should give Alex more credit than I do because life is better with him as my partner.

A successful partnership doesn't have to be a romantic duo though. Everybody needs a buddy-- Thelma had Louise, Han had Chewy, and Maverick had Goose. Some things (you know, like driving off a cliff or fighting the Dark Side) are more fun when they're done together. It could be a friend, a sibling, a parent, a spouse, a co-worker . . . life is easier when we have somebody to help us share the load. Just remember, when you find that special wing man, let them know how much you appreciate their love and support.

Celebrate Others

I think this is the most important lesson I've learned over the past five seasons. See, Chip and Jo are both really talented, and this show was obviously designed to highlight their skills, their businesses, and their family. They could have made every episode of every season be all about them, but they didn't. They have their own strengths, and they are lucky enough to have surrounded themselves with some really talented friends who help compensate for their weaknesses. There's Jimmy Don, who is a master of metal. There's Dustin Anderson, who is gifted with glass. And of course, there's my fave, Clint Harp, who can work wonders with wood. Together, these talented artisans make people's dreams come true.

As I have gotten older, I've realized I, too, have some strengths, and I also have some serious struggles. For example, fashion will never be my forte. I don't buy pieces of clothing, I buy outfits-- if it works on the mannequin at Loft, then it works for me. I have absolutely no ability to mix and match. I should have been born in the '50s when women always wore dresses-- then I'd only have to figure out if I needed black pumps or brown ones, and that's a decision I can (usually) handle. But my friend Andrea, that girl knows fashion. Watching her put an outfit together is like watching Cinderella's fairy godmother turn a pumpkin into a crystal coach. I kid you not, I've seen her effortlessly turn a belt into a necklace in a matter of minutes. She has a gift. If I could Skype her into my closet every morning, I totally would.

We all have gifts, and they're all different. Society often pits us against each other and makes us believe we're always in competition--who has the most money, the most success, the most likes. This is especially true for women. But maybe instead of focusing on what we can do individually, we should focus more on what we can accomplish collectively because the truth is, when we combine forces, that's when the magic really happens.

One of my favorite quotes is from Jen Hatmaker: "When we elevate other women around us, when we cheer them on, when we share the microphone, when we promote what they're doing, none of that makes our space shrink. In fact, is becomes way more expansive."

It can be hard to live out this philosophy. Personally, I've had times where I let my own insecurities and doubts about my abilities hold me back from being the cheerleader for others I should have been. Thankfully, with age comes insight, and as I approach the big 4-0, I can see that celebrating someone else doesn't make me any less. Truthfully, it's liberating and comforting to know I don't have to do it all myself, thanks to my awesome and talented tribe.


Well, there you have it, everything I've learned from watching Fixer Upper. Thanks to Chip and Jo for the memories. A visit to Waco is definitely at the top of my bucket list.

In the meantime, if you have a favorite show you think Alex and I should watch now that we have an extra hour in our week, let me know!