Have you ever heard a statement that stopped you on a dime and made you seriously reevaluate your life?
This happened to me about a year ago. A Bible study leader shared with my group that a lot of her friends were struggling in their marriages because now that their kids were out of the house, they didn't know how to relate to their husbands. She encouraged those of us who were still deep in the trenches of parenthood to make sure we took time to find shared interests that didn't involve carpool, homework, and soccer practice.
I drove home from church in a bit of a panic, racking my brain trying to figure out what Alex and I enjoy doing together that doesn't involve our boys. I mean, sure, we love a good family story time, but it might be a little awkward if Alex is still reading me Llama, Llama Red Pajama after the boys have flown the coop.
Thankfully, after a little soul searching, I came up with three interests we share: sports, movies, and silent auctions. That last one is kinda random, I know, but silent auctions honestly make us a team more than the other two.
Silent auctions are the perfect activity for us because they play to our passions- namely my (highly) competitive nature and Alex's penchant for buying things he doesn't need. When I actually asked Alex why he likes silent auctions, he said he likes them because "the items are usually unique or are experiences that I wouldn't normally think to purchase on my own," which I think pretty much translates into buying things he doesn't need. But since I often benefit from his crazy bidding, I can't really complain.
It all started when our friends Anna and Doug invited us to a benefit at EdVenture. The event included tasty hors d'oeuvres, live music, and a silent auction to raise money for EdVenture's children's programs. This was in the days before mobile bidding, so we had to write our bids on paper. It also led us to circle the auction items like vultures ready to swoop down on our prey in order to make sure no one outbid us. I can't even remember what I had my heart set on, but I do know that at one point, Alex told me I had to stop bidding on it because at around $150, it was out of his price range. I could appreciate his fiscal responsibility and happily went back to chatting with friends.
At the end of the night, we all went to see if we'd won anything. Doug, being the thoughtful husband that he is, won an open-ended plane ticket Anna could use to visit her family in Texas.
Alex, ever the romantic, won a basketball signed by Coach K.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the Blue Devils, but I had never known Alex to be a fan. As he explained, this was his logical first step in turning our den into his "man cave." Glad we discussed that plan, Honey. All I could think to say was, "I hope you got a good deal on it."
Crickets.
Alex sheepishly confessed the bidding had gotten a little bit away from him, and he ended up paying $350 for a basketball! A basketball that now resides at the top of my closet, mind you. So much for fiscal responsibility. He also admitted he had to hip check an older gentleman right as the bids were being collected to ensure his was the last bid. And I thought I was the competitive one! All the way to the car, all the way home, and even to this day, all Alex can say is, "I did it for the kids."
Even though that first experience was a little stressful for our relationship, we bounced back, and our love of silent auctions has continued to grow, thanks mainly to Junior League of Columbia's Holiday Market Preview Party and Silent Auction. We have even developed a strategic plan we use to increase our chances of winning. (I could tell you what it is, but then I'd have to kill you.) We have won all sorts of things, from a Mosquito Joe's yard treatment to Gamecock paraphernalia to a necklace I think I've worn once (That one was pre-strategic plan.). My favorite was the year I won a birthday party at The Little Gym. When Alex asked how much it cost, it was my turn to confess I may or may not have paid $10 over the normal party price. I really felt like he was missing the point because, hello, I WON! Okay, so maybe I didn't get the best deal, but at least it's for the kids, right?
Last year, we tried out another local auction when we attended the Friends of Epworth Gala. We bid on a few things we were interested in, and then a little later in the night, Alex went rogue, broke protocol, and went back through the items, bidding on a few no one had bid on yet. His philosophy was if he bid on them, they'd look like hot commodities, and then other people would try to outbid him, thus increasing the money going to Epworth. It was good in theory, not so good in execution. Nobody else bid against him for several things, so we ended up with some totally random items, like a teeth whitening service and cakes for a year.
As we were leaving the gala loaded down like pack mules, all of the Epworth employees kept shaking Alex's hand and telling us they were so glad we came. Yeah, I bet they were. Needless to say, we received a Save the Date for this year's event. I'd bet we were first on the guest list, and not just because our last name starts with B.
If you're not familiar with Epworth Children's Home, it provides group residential care for children and youth from all over South Carolina. I vividly remember my mom filling out the special offering card every May to make her Mother's Day offering to Epworth. I asked her once why it was such a big deal, and she told me not all kids were as lucky as I was. At the time, I thought she was just trying to toot her own horn as a mom because as a teenager, I didn't always feel so lucky. It's true, as an only child, I often got whatever I wanted, but I also felt I got some things I didn't want too, like extra pressure and higher expectations.
Fast forward to my first year teaching. Funny how God can put you in just the right place for just the right lesson. As I got to know the faces in my classroom, I quickly realized I was beyond lucky; I was blessed. I am fortunate to have a parent who cares enough to set expectations and hold me accountable. And I am fortunate to never have to worry if there is food in the fridge or if the lights will come on when I flip the switch. For better or worse, we don't get to choose our parents, and some kids end up with the short end of the stick. They need our help to make sure they have a fighting chance.
During a professional development conference that first year, a speaker told us she didn't like the term "at risk" because it places a negative label on certain students. She went on to say that, truly, all kids are at risk of something. Life can change in an instant, and hardship doesn't discriminate based on race, gender, or socioeconomic status. Any child's life can change dramatically due to death, illness, or loss.
That's why Epworth is so important. It offers children going through a rough time a loving and stable environment. In a time of chaos, Epworth provides kids with the consistency and structure they crave.
This year's Friends of Epworth Palate Party will be held at Hay Hill Market on Saturday, March 10. You can read all of the fun details and buy your tickets right here. Alex and I would love for you to join us. Even better, we'd love for you to try and outbid us. Just remember, win or lose, it's all for the kids.
