I am proud to say I was completely decorated for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving, something that has never happened in my entire adult life. Wait . . . What's that you say? I can't brag about that accomplishment since I left my tree up all year? Yeah, I guess you're right, that did seem to expedite the process!
Anyway, now that the tree is decorated, the stockings are hung, and the nativities are set out, it's time to sit back and wait for December 25. There's a sense of anticipation and excitement in the air. I can see the wonder and awe in the boys' eyes as they inspect the ornaments (because, you know, they may have moved in the last 365 days!). I hear it in Jackson's voice as he shouts out every time he sees an inflatable Santa or snowman or reindeer or Minion. It's evident every night as Reeves lovingly pets the camel in the nativity. Their giddy expectancy is contagious.
But is waiting always so exciting?
I feel like the rest of the year, waiting is super hard, maybe even painful at times. Waiting is often accompanied by its friends uncertainty and instability, leading me to a feeling of being out of control. Waiting can turn even the biggest optimist into a pessimist. Personally, I start imagining worst-case scenarios and the longer I have to wait, the wilder and crazier those scenarios get.
There are a lot of times in life when waiting can give way to panic. You wait for the guy to call you back after that first date, wondering why it's taking him so long or if you did something wrong. You wait by the phone for the doctor to call with the test results, hoping and praying everything is okay. Or, if you're like Alex and me lately, you wait for the confirmation that you got the job, crossing your fingers that this is the one.
I feel like Mary and Joseph knew how hard it is to wait better than any of us. I'm sure they were overcome with periods of anxiety, wondering how this whole giving birth to the King of Kings thing was going to play out. As a young, unwed mother, Mary had to be at least a little scared, but she didn't let her fears paralyze her; instead, she used her period of waiting to get ready for her precious baby.
Waiting can surely be a challenge, and while patience may be a virtue, it's not always mine. One Christmas, I "accidentally" found all of my Santa gifts hidden in the attic. After I thoroughly investigated each and every one, I went downstairs and proceeded to unwrap all of my gifts under the tree, carefully re-wrapping them so my mom was none the wiser.
Worst.Christmas.Ever.
Seriously, I killed the excitement days in advance by refusing to wait, so by the time I started unwrapping my gifts for real, I couldn't even fake the thrill of opening the cool new button covers from The Limited I had been coveting weeks before.
As I've gotten older, I've started to realize that sometimes the good stuff comes in the waiting itself.
I had to go to the doctor last week, and believe it or not, I was actually looking forward to the wait that often accompanies such a visit. Strange, I know, but I was super excited about starting the new book I had gotten the night before. Needless to say, I was a little heartbroken when they called me back after only five minutes and started the procedure right away--I had barely gotten past the dedication page! After looking forward to that time to myself to read and think and have some peace and quite, I was sort of annoyed when it was stolen from me. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of daily life, a wait can be a welcome respite from the noise of the world.
On the days I take the boys to school, I'm forced to wait. In order to get Jackson to school in plenty of time to eat his Lucky Charms, his second breakfast of the day, I drop him off around 7:15. That means I get to Reeves' school around 7:20. Unfortunately, his school doesn't open until 7:30, and even though it used to drive me nuts that I had to wait until then to take Reeves inside, I'm learning to love our little interlude. After going Mach-10 all morning trying to get everybody dressed, fed, and out the door, this wait forces me to pump the brakes. Instead of just pulling up and rushing Reeves inside, it's nice to have a block of uninterrupted time alone with him, where he can tell me all about dinosaurs or giants or Johnny, the gorilla from Sing.
As hard as it has been to wait for Alex to find a new job, some good things have come of of his wait. He has been able to spend more time with the boys, coaching soccer and attending daytime school events, two things he's never been able to do before. And while this wait hasn't always been easy, I know when Alex does sign the final papers, we will appreciate the job more since it didn't come right away.
I'm thinking Mary and Joseph learned a lot in their wait too. I mean, they had to take a road trip together, so you know they learned a lot about each other, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They learned how to be resourceful and make the best of a bad situation. But most importantly, they learned how to let go of their control and put their trust in something they couldn't see, having faith that God would guide them through.
Over the past week or two, I've heard myself saying, "I can't wait for Christmas break," like I won't be able to breathe and enjoy the holidays until I get out of school. But here's the problem with that--if I just fast forward to the main event, I know I'll miss out on some fun stuff along the way.
As we count down the days until Christmas, I'm challenging myself to enjoy the wait. To find time to relax. To be still. To sit in front of my tree with a hot cup of coffee and think about the gift we're really waiting for during this Christmas season. I have a feeling that one will definitely be worth the wait.
