A few weeks ago, a friend and I were talking about, and stressing about, all of the options that exist in education these days. For our preschoolers, we have to decide between private, public, and parochial schools. Should we choose Montessori or language immersion? Should we choose half-day or full-day kindergarten? Or, should we forget those choices altogether and opt for home schooling? It seems like such an important decision, one that will impact them for the rest of their lives. I mean, where we send our kids to kindergarten determines whether or not they'll attend an Ivy League university and run a Fortune 500 company, right?
I may have a tendency to get carried away.
In the middle of our conversation, a thought hit me. As a high school teacher, I have seen a lot of students over the past 17 years, and when I think back, the best kids to work with weren't necessarily the smartest ones. The best kids to work with have always been the nice ones. The ones who are kind to their classmates. The ones who keep trying even when the content gets challenging. Sure, being smart can make school easier for the student, but being nice can make school easier for everybody.
As a student, I made good grades in high school and was lucky enough to receive several scholarships to Furman. When I got there, I discovered that when it came to knowing how to study and manage my time, I wasn't quite as smart as I thought I was. The good people in Furman's financial aid department discovered this too and quickly took back those scholarships and gave them to students who knew how to turn off VH-1's Behind the Music and actually study for a test. Being "smart" can change in the blink of an eye with one low test score, one bad grade, or one horrible semester in Earth Science 101.
Being nice lasts a lifetime.
But how do I teach my boys to be nice? I feel fairly confident in my ability to teach them about analyzing figurative language and writing argumentative essays. Teaching them to be nice, on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame. How do I teach kindness? Empathy? It's not like I can show them a PowerPoint about those qualities and then give them a quiz to check for understanding . . . can I?
Then I remembered a strategy good teachers all over the world use every day. . . modeling. If I want my boys to be nice, I have to show them how. They need to see me thank the bagger at Publix who pushes our buggy to the car. They need to see me take meals to families with new babies. Ultimately, they need to see me treat other people the way I want to be treated. Goodness knows, I don't get it right all the time, and some days I need serious extra help, but I have to keep trying.
Now, I'm not going to lie, I'll still pin educational activities on Pinterest. And I'll definitely keep reading to the boys every night. I want them to have multiple opportunities to learn and grow. But I'm also going to try to give them even more opportunities to see me loving others. That's the most important lesson I can teach them.